I’ve been wanting to get back into posting on my blog again, so hello! It’s been roughly half a year since my last update and while I am not as melancholic as before, the yearning for an escape via the start of graduate school grows stronger day by day. I’ve noticed my mind loves to have something to fixate on, that there must be a mantra that repeats over and over until I have nothing else to think of and it becomes unbearable. Which, albeit is a double edged sword when it comes to writing. Where these circling thoughts are all I feel as if it can be tantalized into words, however, are so simple there’s very little to expand upon.

Yet, that’s not the point I wanted to write about today. I hope the first paragraph combined with the title was enough bait. I don’t find repeating and wishing for a new life to be corrosive, it’s human nature to strive for the better aspects of life. This semester I’ve been taking a personality psychology class, which is partially why I’ve been so aware of my mental psychosis of fixating on a singular particular aspect until I’ve satisfied it and can move to the next life issue. This defensiveness I have towards my own life, is one I notice several carry about stronger, aggressive opinions.

Thanks to the recent election, corrosive opinion cycling has been something I’ve seen become a numbing aspect of both sides. While I am admittedly “blue-pilled libbed out”, I’ve began to find agitation in those who love to be righteous. Commonly, I associate mind-numbing chanting with the most judgmental (which can be seen in my article “Shame: you are not righteous” (I do intend to do an follow up now that my label since then has adapted from bisexual to lesbian)), which while still stands true in my mind, I’ve grown to include more that opinion. I find the cycling often not just come from those who expect people to live to their standards, but fail to meet that same explicit podium.

With all that context, allow me to define the term I’ve coined for today; Corrosive Opinion Cycling. An idea that one has that they fail to live up to it begins to crumble beneath themselves. Sometimes the things we chase so hard, have already dissolved to nothing and our adamant searching makes us foolish and perhaps hypocritical.

I’ve noticed this ironic phenomenon in the people who preach their perspectives the most. While this is a different article I want to write, people who are extremely loud on social media, consistently contribute to the problems they proclaim wanting to solve. I’ll watch people claim racism to the election results and turn around and buy country ticket concerts, ignoring systemic history of racist roots in the tunes they bump to. I’ll witness girls repost denim day with Collen Hoover novels slipped between their jean jacket arms. Often, we become so passionate about one headliner issue, we forget we’re contributing on a smaller scale to the roots that built that problem to where it is now.

And I’m guilty of this too, in no way would I be so ready to write if I could not address my own flaws that contribute to this. That’s why I find this issue so unique, that one is not frequently aware of their prejudice until called out. I vocalize quite frequently how it sickens me when a girl will flirt with woman for male attention, when I feel that lesbians already struggle with being taken seriously, however, I rarely instantly shut down when a man hits on me despite no interest for the male sex for the same selfish reason of attention. Being aware breaks the cycle. I’ve been faster at shutting down and refusing to make any eye contact since becoming aware of my own contribution. Minor adjustments make major changes, even if we cannot see it right away.

While I could keep on going, I think the gist of my opinion is made, which boils down to being aware that the things we often love to speak on the most, we can be guilty of contributing to the problem the most. Self-reflection is a difficult yet wonderful thing to be able to do, surely I have more to do, and I hope that in the midst of my words you did some on your own too.